


Invincible

by Earth_Fire_Skye



Series: The Chronicles of 'I' [2]
Category: Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon, Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Elemental Abuse, Elvin needs a relationship, Elvin puts up with everything, Everything that goes with sex, Fluff, Gambling, Homosexuality, I swear there's actual sex in this one, Kaihau's regretting most of his life choices, Lys has a thing for explosions, M/M, Menions of suicide attempts, Mentions of self-harm, Mixing caffeine and alcohol, Multi, Peach doesn't give two shits about pockets, Peach enjoys torturing Peasley by withholding information, Peach's pockets are the space between her bodice and her boobs, Peasley has Foot-in-Mouth syndrome, Peasley's a king now, Peasley's not a stupid blond no matter how much he acts like it, Seducing Beans is different from Toads, Semi-controlled insanity, Sequel to Invisible, Sex, She can fit wine bottles in there and nothing shows, Slash, Spirit forms, Traumatizing mortals is fun, possible triggers, puns, references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:01:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6864925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earth_Fire_Skye/pseuds/Earth_Fire_Skye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If anything, Mario was regretting not getting away with it. Kaihau was going to see him dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Over the Rock Wall

Meric, whose hair is just that spiky. Yes, all of the Toads have piercings. All of them.

(Note: His shirt says "The dust bunnies _killed_ my cleaning fairy.")

 

* * *

 

            …… _And into the woods_ , Prince Peasley thought, hummed softly as the carriage they were riding in rattled down the road. He had been visiting the Mushroom Kingdom using royal business as an excuse to see Luigi again, only to be very disappointed when he had learned that the brunet hadn't been to the palace in over six years. He'd been gone so long that even Peach was worried. So he'd done the only thing he had thought of at that moment. He'd invited Mario, Peach, Starlow, and their new friend Prince Dreambert to his own kingdom. After all, royalty stuck together. But something was bothering him. Mario seemed off in a way, his familiar aura missing and something darker lurking beneath the surface. It was very off putting to be honest, but it wasn't like Peasley could invite Peach without having her husband tag along.

            If anything, the longer he was around Mario, the louder his warning bells sounded. It was very disconcerting and rather alarming.

            Peasley turned his head, brushed his golden hair out of his face, and glanced out the window. His mother, Queen Bean herself, had handed the throne over to him a little under two years ago and he rather liked being king. The blond eyed the road carefully, remembering that it did take a little while to reach the main one. They had taken a well known shortcut through the nearby forest to get to the Bean Palace faster, but somewhere along the way, something had gone wrong. And now he had no idea as to where they were. Or even when. Time travel had happened before. He wouldn't be surprised if it had happened again.

            Starlow floated nervously around, going from the ceiling to the floor and then back again, her eyes flickering to look out the window as the trees rushed by. “I don't like this,” she said and turned away. “There's an off-putting air surrounding these trees. I feel like they're reaching for me.” Dreambert nodded but said nothing. He, too, was eyeing the trees with trepidation.

            Mario, sitting next to Peach and across from Peasley looked up. He turned his gaze to the forest around them and said with a grimace, “Something is wrong here. We should have left the forest by now.”

            The Bean king nodded. “I don't remember the shortcut being nearly this long.” He fell silent and for a long time there was nothing but the sound of the carriage moving down the road. Then the very air itself was split by a high pitched, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, cackle. Peasley's head snapped up and he glanced around quickly. “What the hell was that?”

            Mario's skin whitened to the point where it was rivaling the color of a Dry Bones and his eyes dilated until there was only a thin ring of blue surrounding the black. He pressed himself into his seat and stuttered out, “Boo.”

            Peasley gave him a very unimpressed look. “If you're trying to scare me, it's not working.” He laughed haughtily and tried to not roll his eyes.

            Peach, on the other hand, frowned. “Boo?” she asked. “Do you mean those white ghosts that can cause a lot of problems?” Mario nodded and inched away from the window. “The ones that are ruled over by King Boo himself?” The Plumber nodded again and winced when another cackle shattered the silence. “Oh dear,” Peach murmured, edging a little further away from her own window. “We might be in trouble.” She winced when something hit the front of the carriage, but when nothing followed, relaxed slightly. There was a flash of familiar green as something fell past the window and hit the ground. No-one saw red puddle form around it. They were too far down the road.

            Dreambert spoke up from where he had been watching the trees silently. “What do you mean, Princess?”

            Mario stiffened as a third cackle was heard. “Where one is, others tend to follow. Boos travel in groups.” He sighed and glanced around quickly. “I really don't like ghosts. Peasley, is there any chance that we could pick up the pace?”

            The Bean king nodded and turned to lean out the window and call an order to the coachman controlling the horses, only to freeze in horror when he realized that the seat was now empty, blood staining the front of the carriage. There no longer was anyone holding the reigns, and Peasley pulled himself back in and pressed his body against the wall just as they hit a bump. “The coachman is gone and the seat's bloody,” he gasped, reaching a hand out to brace himself on something, _anything_. Mario cringed when the next cackle sounded, this one far closer than the other ones had ever been. Then, one final peal of laughter sounded directly in front of them and a great, white spirit materialized from nothing, cackling insanely. The horses reared, their cries of fright echoing around the area and they bolted forward. There was a snap as the carriage disconnected from the horses and the beasts disappeared into the woods, leaving the damaged transportation behind. The spirit faded away into nothing, its laughter vanishing with the wind.

            Peasley and the others lay tangled inside of the carriage and he glanced up at the door above him. The damn thing was lying on its side, one door blocked and the other about two feet above his head. He scowled and pushed Mario's legs off his chest and managed to get to his feet. Dreambert untangled himself next and floated up to the door, easily unlocking and pushing it open. He poked his head out and looked around before ducking back into the carriage. “All clear. Whatever spooked the horses is gone now.”

            Peach shook her head and carefully got to her feet. “Oh dear. How am I supposed to get out?”

            Dreambert floated back down and smiled. He raised a hand and a glowing orb of white light appeared in his palm. He crushed it and blew the powder into Peach's face. She coughed softly and glared at him with bleary eyes. “Here,” he said. “Push off of the ground. It'll temporarily give you a Pi'illo's ability to fly.”

            “Oh,” she said and jumped. Her gown fluttered out around her and Dreambert grabbed her hand to help her balance as Starlow shot up through the open door and glanced around. Mario snorted and bounced off of a nearby wall, easily flipping through the gap.

            “It won't last long, so let's get out of here.” He guided her up through the open door and helped her land on the ground outside. “You'll feel soft and floaty for a while, but that's normal so don't worry about it. It should wear off completely in half an hour.”

            Soon Peasley was the only one remaining in the carriage and he sighed softly. He bent down, bunching his muscles and displaying a rare show of agility, smoothly leapt high enough to grab the edge of the door with his hands. Then a rare display of strength was shown and he easily hauled his own weight through the door and the king hopped down and joined the others on the ground. “So, what now?” he asked as he looked around. They had been abandoned in a small clearing in the woods, near a gigantic mansion. The thing was huge, reaching into the sky and surrounded by stone gargoyles of all types. “I don't recognize anything at all. It's like we're not in the Bean Kingdom anymore.”

            Another voice cut into the conversation with, “Indeed, you're not.” Peasley whirled around, pulling Peach behind himself and drawing his sword. Beside him, Mario yanked out his hammer. Magic glowed brightly in Dreambert's hand and Starlow floated just out of reach. The speaker was a man in a nearby screen. He was sitting neatly in a chair, silver-gray hair pulled back in a low ponytail. Hazel eyes watched them quietly, carefully cataloging them.

            Mario took a step forward and demanded, “Then, where are we?” in a frosty tone of voice.

            The man gave him a fowl glare. “Careful, brat. I might decide to not give you the information.”

            Peach laid a hand on her husband's shoulder and walked past him to stand in front of the large screen. “Please, where are we? Our carriage broke and the horses ran off.”

            He sighed. “You may call me E. And you picked a bad place to crash. That mansion behind you is the Treacherous Mansion deep within Evershade Valley. Prime spook location and the thing is usually infested with ghosts. It's been mostly cleared out, but that isn't the problem.”

            Starlow floated closer. “But what is the problem?”

            E sighed again and undid his ponytail to run a hand through his hair. “There's a smoke that likes to travel through Evershade Valley sometimes. It just so happens that the Treacherous Mansion is currently stuffed full to the gills with the stuff.”

            “And what does the smoke do?” Peach asked warily, blue eyes flickering up towards the large windows, her gaze following the purple mist that floated about.

            The man in the screen grimaced. “It shows you the shadows of your past, of your present, and of the future. It creeps and crawls and finds your darkest moments and fears and reveals them to all.” He glanced up towards the mansion. “I've been in there many times when the smoke was present and I've relived everything from the death of my parents to the murder of my best friend.” E shook his head. “But I was alone then. If you go in together, everyone will see.”

            “How horrible,” Dreambert murmured. “I suppose Antasma will appear at least once... At least, for me he will.”

            Peach gave a weak smile. “I might see Bowser. Cackeletta and Fawful may appear as well.”

            “That's the thing,” E continued. “You don't know what you're going to see. It will show you things from the past, the present, and your future. You'll see the end of your loved ones. The mist will confuse you, terrify you, and then try and lead you to your own death. It's happened before. There's a reason why this mansion has a graveyard. It's filled to the brim with those who were over-eager and unprepared for what was to be thrown their way.”

            Peasley drew in a sharp breath, his eyes widening as he finally sheathed his blade. Peach's hand flew up to cover her mouth. “I don't think I want to enter,” she whispered.

            “But you must,” E said with barely hidden glee. “There's a screen in the second floor of the Inner Courtyard. If you get there, I can bring you to safety in the Bunker. But, of course....” His lips turned up into a dark smile. “That's only if you can _get_ there.” Just as the screen blanked out, the familiar cackle of a Boo split the air and Peach shivered.

            “I suppose we'll have to, then,” she whispered and glanced up towards the huge door, and started towards it. No one noticed the purple magic that covered the broken carriage, nor did they notice the green flames that began to consume the wood.

            Mario winced and followed behind. He no longer had a chance of taking his greatest secret to the grave. _Not anymore._


	2. Welcome To Your Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No picture this week. Sorry. I just got back from an exhausting trip involving nosy relatives and I don't have the energy.

            _“Goodnight, Nightvale.... Goodnight.”_ The last vestiges of a radio program faded away and the small group only caught the final words. Peach glanced around nervously. So far they hadn't seen any _Shadows_ , as the man had called them, but it was only a matter of time. She had, however, seen things moving from the corner of her eye, but was never fast enough to figure out what it was.

            Laughter echoed around them and the faintest form of Luigi shimmered into view. Peach let out a gasp as the brunet spun around and held out a hand, beckoning to them. Peasley stepped forward, unsheathing his blade and slicing through the image and watching as it faded away. “Come on,” he said. “We need to get moving.” He didn't sheathe his blade again, instead choosing to keep it out and ready, and he stalked forward towards the stairs. There were six portals in various positions in the room and they looked like they had at one point actually been activated. Now they were silent and empty. More laughter echoed throughout the room, this time accompanied with music and the Bean king flinched.

            The ballroom in the Bean Palace shimmered into view and there was the faintest image of Luigi and Prince Peasley dancing, their steps graceful and light. Peasley swallowed hard at the sight of the image, but turned away and headed towards the door on the right and carefully opening it. The hallway inside was as dark as the rest of the mansion, and more of the strange mist glided through the area. It covered the floors and ceiling and walls in a strange purple haze, rolling and tumbling over itself.

            Another cackle of a Boo split the air and green flames lit up the torches that lined the walls. Electricity crackled along the picture frames, impossibly bright before fading away. Ice coated the floor, shining a visible silver blue. Peasley tightened the grip he had on his blade and stalked forward, ignoring the ghostly shadows that danced on the walls and staying as close to the center of the hall as possible.

            Dreambert visibly shivered every time the cackle of a Boo sounded and the Pi'illo actually yelped when Antasma's screech tore through the air. He glanced around nervously but saw nothing, his heart pounding in his chest as he floated closer to the group. Starlow whined softly in her throat and hurled herself into Peach's arms. The Princess caught her and inched closer to the others.

            “A jungle?” Peasley asked softly when he opened the door to the next room, eyeing the greenery on the walls like it was going to attack them at any given moment. He stepped into the room and sucked in a sharp breath, the image of his mother lying on the ground with her throat slit wide almost too much for him to bear. Peach took one look at the illusion and went green, her already pale lips lightening in color. Dreambert hesitated but nailed the hideous image with a ball of magic and watched as it disappeared. Peasley's gaze flickered up to meet his and the Bean king mouthed a silent 'thank you'.

            “E wasn't lying,” Starlow whispered from her place in Peach's arms. “This stuff shows you your worst nightmares.”

            “But it also shows you things that have happened,” Peasley said with a wince. “I did dance with Luigi many years ago. He was very graceful, though he spent the rest of the evening with a red face.” He attempted to chuckle, but it came out strange and the king cut it off sharply. He turned towards the other door and headed towards it, desperately praying that the mist wouldn't show his greatest desire. He did, after all, love Luigi with all of his heart.

            The next hall was as silent as the first, and it, too, was filled with the mist. Blue balls floated around, looking almost like spirits as they danced and Mario avoided them as best he could. Dreambert floated around them, drifting through the air alongside Starlow and the two conversed in low voices, trying to discern what the next image would be.

            A few _Shadows_ flickered into view during their trip through the long hall. They ranged from minor annoyances like Cackeletta's laughter to Peach's scream of horror. That one had startled everyone and even though they knew she was with them, the entire group had turned to make sure she was okay.

            The final image, on the other hand, was different.

            It wasn't anything anyone was prepared for. _Nothing_ could prepare them for what they saw.

            They had reached the Inner Courtyard and ascended the staircase and were just about to reach the screen E spoke of when the cackle of another Boo filled the air. This one felt different, though. This one was low and terrifying and nightmarish at the same time and Peach shrieked in fear. Then the illusion appeared and Peasley breathed in so sharply that he actually staggered backwards. It was Luigi, again, but this time there was a wound in his stomach, tearing open his chest. Blood puddled on the ground, flooding the floor and transforming it into a sea of red. He reached forward, blind blue eyes staring towards someone that they couldn't see, his lips mouthing words they couldn't hear, and then he collapsed to the floor and didn't move. Mario said nothing, knowing full well that Luigi had been reaching towards him and removed the sword from the Bean king's limp grasp. A single slash of the blade was all it took to remove the image from sight, but still the others stared.

            The other visions had been mostly harmless, things and people that they remembered. Peasley knew his mother was safe, and so the image of her with her throat slit hadn't been as terrifying as it should have been. But this one.... he didn't know where Luigi was; he didn't know if he was safe or not, and so this bloody illusion was far more effective.

            _They didn't know that it was a memory. That it was the truth._

**_oOo_ **

E, or Elvin as he preferred to be called, watched them from the safety of his Bunker and _smiled._ He could see all of the illusions that formed outside of their vision and was learning a lot about the Treacherous Mansion visitors. Dreambert was nice, innocent, and rather naive for a ruler. Starlow knew nothing and it was the same with Peach. And, surprise, surprise, Peasley was head over heels for Lys. His smile softened, widened, and changed into something far less dark.

            He'd always wanted to play matchmaker for a threesome. _Now,_ he thought, watching carefully, _is when the game begins. Kaihau should be appearing right about …  now._ A scream echoed throughout the air, tearing the very fabric itself.

**oOo**

            Peasley recoiled, blade slashing ineffectively through the ginormous Boo that had appeared in front of them. The thing cackled gleefully, glowing, violet eyes watching as they all stumbled over themselves to get away. Dreambert shot up into the sky, magic glowing in his hands as he readied an attack. The crown on the Boo king glowed brightly, the violet diamond inside gleaming in the light as it fired. Red light curled around itself, the ball of energy slamming into Mario's chest and sending him flying backwards. A canvas appeared behind the plumber and his form was frozen into a still, black and white picture. **_“Ahh,”_** the Boo king laughed out. **_“Doesn't he look wonderful? A real piece of work!”_** He cackled again and his face darkened. **_“I want to burn it. Rip and tear and shred and destroy this disgusting painting.”_** Power curled around him again and a ball of fire began to form mid-air.

            Peach let out a small scream and darted in front of the painting, pointing her umbrella at the spirit. “NO!” she cried out. “I won't let you!”

           King Boo tilted sideways, almost like a human would tilt their head, and stared at her as his attack dissipated. Behind him, they could hear _something_ singing and it was almost too faint to hear:

“ _Well, well, well, what have we here?_  
Mario and Company, huh?  
Oh, I'm really scared.  
So you're finally here and in my way, ha, ha.

_You're jokin', you're jokin',_  
I can't believe my eyes.  
You're jokin' me, you gotta be,  
You can't be the right guys.  
You're worthless, she's weak.  
I don't know which is worse.  
I might just burst a seam now,  
If I don't die laughing first.”

            It fell silent and King Boo spun in the air, his crown somehow managing to stay on. **_“You, Princess, you'd protect him?”_**

            She glared back and the spirit laughed, even as she spat out, “Yes!”

            The Boo king's face darkened and grew serious and he stared at her. **_“Even if he's a killer? A murderer?”_**

            Peach's complexion paled and her skin grew whiter. Peasley's eyebrows shot up. “What?” Starlow asked quietly.

            King Boo twirled again, but his solemn expression didn't change. **_“You heard me, human. That man is responsible for the death of my partner. My lover, my mate, my life. I will have my revenge and you will not stop me.”_**

            Peasley's green skin lightened until the blue veins underneath could be seen. “I...” he stuttered and took a step away from the painting. His gaze flickered toward Peach and he whispered, “It's your choice.” He nervously licked his lips, a pale blue tongue flickering into view.

            Dreambert's attack faded away and he floated closer to the canvas, examining it carefully. “Did he really?” He then spun around and puffed up. “I demand proof!”

            King Boo spun and vanished and the world around them twirled. When it came into view again, they could see a young, brunet man –whose face was impossible to see– walking across the path, shirt and some sort of machine thrown over his shoulder. Behind him was Mario, and the group watched in horror as the plumber picked up a nearby sword and ran the man through. Blood sprayed across the ground and Mario smirked before walking off.

            Smoke rushed across the scene and it vanished, and when the fog cleared, King Boo was watching quietly, his gaze flickering between them and the remains of the scene. **_“My love died in my arms,”_** the king revealed with a sigh.

            Starlow caught what she saw as a slip. “You don't have arms.”

            He gave her a look and then vanished into smoke. When it cleared, more than a few jaws were on the ground as a very human Boo stepped out. He smoothed out his hair and fixed his crown, violet eyes watching them. “ _Is this better, little one?_ ” He glanced down at his hands and his gaze became distant. “ _There's still blood covering these hands of mine and it will never come clean. Not until I have Mario's head in my hands and his lifeblood on the ground._ ”

            Peach let out a whimper and closed her eyes.


	3. Legend of Darkness

Ican in his own fabulous shirt.

(Note: his shirt says, "My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.")

 

* * *

_“What will you do, Princess?”_ King Boo asked Peach as he stepped forward, watching as she stepped back. _“Will you let me have my revenge? Will you give me what I so desperately want?”_

Peasley made a noise of horror as the pieces finally connected and something inside of him _broke_. “Oh god,” he breathed out and staggered back against the railing. “Luigi. He killed his own brother.” Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and he crumpled to the ground, blade clattering away as great sobs began wracking his body. They weren't pretty tears, nor were they dainty. These were massive, heaving sobs that tore at one's soul and left them with a painful headache and aching lungs.

            Starlow froze at Peasley's words and turned to face the Boo. “Please,” she begged. “Please tell me he isn't right.” King Boo looked away and did not answer. “No.”

            Dreambert breathed in sharply and floated over to Peasley, unsure as how to comfort the elder male. He pressed in closer and gently began telling stories of his people, of their land, and of their history. _Anything_ to distract the other from his grief.

             Peach stood there motionless, her blue eyes wide. “He really did that?” she eventually asked, voice so quiet that those listening had to strain to hear her.

            _“Yes. He took what was mine, and for that he shall pay. Do not stop me, princess.”_

Her gaze slid to the painting before shifting to the ground and she stepped out of the way and walked over to stand by the Bean king. Then she bent down and gently pulled him into her arms, running her gloved hands through his hair. Peasley pressed in closer, his tears soaking into her dress and neither one cared.

            King Boo watched them and said nothing. If his lips twitched up into a smirk, no-one else noticed.

            The screen on the wall beside him crackled to life and E snorted loudly enough to gain their attention. “If you're done there, Kaihau, I would like to speak to them. And perhaps tell some of the truth while I'm at it.”

            “What?” Peach asked weakly.

            E shook his head. “Thank you for the use of your mist, Kaihau.”

            Kaihau sniffed daintily and waved a hand and they watched with wide eyes as all of the purple haze faded into nothing. _“Not a problem, Elvin.”_

            There was stunned silence.

            Elvin nodded. “Right. I'll bring all of you to the Bunker. Hold tight!” He began typing and they all felt the pull of something that was new.

**oOo**

            The inside of the Bunker was quiet and mostly empty. Elvin was sitting in a nearby chair when they arrived and he was frowning at them. “Welcome to the Bunker. We have quite the story to share.”

            Peasley's head jerked up and he let out a shaky breath. “Is it true?” he asked. “Is Luigi really dead?”

            Elvin closed his eyes and glanced away. “Yes.”

            Kaihau floated through the nearest wall in his ghost form and let out a noise in the back of his throat. **_“I'm going to kill that filthy son of a bitch. I'm going to wring his filthy neck and choke him with his own goddamn intestines.”_**

Normally Peach would have protested such violence, but Mario had _killed_ his _own_ sibling and she had genuinely _liked_ Luigi. Sure he was a bit of a coward, but he was kind and intelligent and almost like an older brother to her. She couldn't believe that Mario had done such a thing, but.....now that she thought about it, he had been different lately. She sighed. “He is yours to do whatever you want with. I can't believe I married him.”

            Peasley staggered to his feet and picked his blade up from the ground, long tears working their way down his cheeks. “Where is that filthy bastard?” the Bean king spat. “I'm going to gut him myself!”

            Starlow sighed and glanced up at the Boo king. “Anything else we should know about Mario? Any other lies he may have told us?”

            Kaihau shifted forms again and sank into a nearby chair before speaking. _“How about the one where Mario was the one to rescue Lys from the haunted mansions? I seem to remember him lying about that. Saying that Lys –er, Luigi was the one stuck in the painting. Bastard.”_ None of them noticed the slip of his tongue, but Elvin did and he shot the Boo a meaningful look.

Elvin snorted softly. “Careful there, Kaihau, or your blood pressure will skyrocket again.” He ducked out of the way of the pen that the Boo threw at him and laughed weakly before turning his gaze back to the others. “Is there anything else that we can do?”

            By this point Peasley had managed to calm himself down and he finally sheathed his blade. “Can we see Luigi's grave? I'd like to leave some flowers if you don't mind.” He didn't see Elvin and Kaihau glance at each other, nor did he see Kaihau's hand flicker slightly, a faint violet glow forming and vanishing within the same second.

            “Sure,” the scientist said. “He's buried in the Haunted Towers. That was his favorite area, so that's where his grave resides. Give me a minute to re-calibrate the Pixelator and then we can head on in. You gonna meet us at the grave, Kaihau?”

            _“Indeed. I shall see you there, then.”_ Kaihau's form shimmered and vanished and Elvin turned to face the others.

            “Kaihau doesn't like traveling by anything that isn't under his control. He's already gone ahead. Hold tight!” he called out cheerfully and the group found themselves surrounded by swirling colors.

**oOo**

            They landed inside of a huge tree, the bottom filled with a pool of water. Inside a side passage was a grave with a green hat hanging off one of the stone edges. Peasley stumbled slightly and pressed a hand to the stone, his head falling forward as he desperately tried to keep himself from crying. “Luigi,” he whispered and the others turned away from such a personal moment. “I.... I – I.... I wish I had told you how much you meant to me,” Peasley said quietly and stood up and turned away from the stone. “Excuse me,” he told the others and slipped off to stand by the pool. He looked so strong in that second, but Peach could see his shoulders shaking.

            Kaihau was standing by the entrance of the grave when they looked up again and his eyes were practically glowing with suppressed fury. _“Stolen,”_ he hissed out and stalked forward to place a pale hand on the grave. _“I almost had everything I could have ever wanted and it was stolen from me.”_ He spun around and glared at the wall like it held all the secrets in the universe.

            Peach sighed softly and gently laid a small bouquet of flowers down. “You were like an older brother to me, Luigi. Rest well. Mario will get exactly what is coming to him.”

            Dreambert watched her carefully. “And what would that be, Princess?”

            Her smile was grim and dark and filled to the brim with sadness. “Death.” She stood up and turned to Elvin. “Can you take us out of Evershade Valley? We need to get to the Beanbean Palace right now.”

            The scientist nodded and activated the Pixelator again, sending the small group out to the edge of Evershade Valley where a carriage waited for them. As soon as they were gone, Kaihau walked forward to stand beside him and twitched his hand slightly. Behind them, the small grave with the green hat shimmered and faded into nothing, the Spirit Balls that created it dispersing into the sky.

            And in the deepest, darkest shadows of the tree, blue eyes that glowed with an inner fire watched silently. A smile filled with too many teeth gleamed in the dark.

            “Well done, my love. Very well done, indeed.”

 


	4. Shadow's Creed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who gets a new chapter!

Zexus, complete with piercings (nose ring and stud), Metroid phone, and "Hell is other people" shirt.

~~I'm so proud of him.~~

 

* * *

 

Kaihau's smile was dark and sly and everything in between. He reached out with a single clawed hand and gently dragged his mate and lover closer. _“How sweet,”_ he murmured. _“Prince Peasley has a thing for you, Lys.”_

Lys rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss against the Boo king's forehead. “I know. He is rather good looking, isn't he?”

            _“Indeed he is. I would not mind sharing a bed with him. And you, of course. And Elvin, get that look off of your face. If I find out that you've been trying to play matchmaker with us, it will not end up well. That I can guarantee.”_ He tugged the brunet closer and began walking towards the Western Bedrooms. _“Come with me, little Lys. We have **things** that we need to do.”_

“Well, I have certain surprises as well,” the brunet purred out and yanked Kaihau into a kiss. Elvin rolled his eyes and made a gagging noise in the back of his throat, only to stop when he was given the evil eye.

            He recoiled backwards and leapt as far away as he could. “Ack! Don't look at me like that! Makes me think you're gonna off me in my sleep.”

            Lys' smile was like a sharks. “Who says I'm not planning that?”

            _“I would think that you'd miss the bastard,”_ Kaihau purred and the two of them ignored Elvin's indignant, “Hey!”

            “True,” the brunet said. “He kind of grows on you. Like a parasite.”

            _“Ouch. I know a paste that can heal burns. Would you like some, Elvin?”_

            The scientist pouted and turned away from them and said with a sniff, “Ganging up on me. How rude.” He glanced back just in time to see Kaihau and Lys exchange glances before cracking up into laughter and his lips quirked up. It was so worth the mocking if he could make Lys laugh.

            Lys smirked and pulled away from Kaihau's grip. “I'll see you two later. I have some things that I have to do.” He whistled and a Hider popped through the nearest wall and he began speaking to it in a hushed whisper.

            Elvin sidled up to Kaihau and gave him a conspiratorial smirk. “Threesome with Peasley, huh?”

            A violet eye flickered to glance at him before returning to watch Lys converse with the ghost. _“If you try anything, Elvin, **you ** will be the one dealing with Lys' anger. Is that understood?”_

The scientist waved his hand lazily. “Fine with me. If I remember right, Lys had a thing for Peasley anyway. Ever since the incident with Cackeletta and Fawful, I believe. Just never did anything about it 'cause his self-esteem was in the dumps. Didn't help that he was always in that bastard's shadow. It was always _Mario this_ and _Mario that_ , and not Lys _anything_.” 

            _“And of course, the moment Lys started gaining his **own** fame by conquering the Haunted Mansions and **finally** stepping out of Mario's shadow, things went wrong. I think the bastard enjoyed having Lys be underneath his foot. As the saying goes: Anything you can do, I can do better. But he couldn't do better because of his fear of ghosts and the anger changed into hate.”_

            Elvin sniffed daintily. “Lys saving him from the Treacherous Mansion was the last straw and all of the hate burst out in an explosion. And Lys paid for it dearly.”

            _“I know. I will enjoy running him through with my blade. No matter what Princess Peach says, Mario will not get the death penalty from her kingdom. He has done too much for them, even if he did kill Lys.”_

The scientist shook his head. “He will be punished. If she can't get the Death Penalty, she'll probably banish him instead. Either way, it all works out for us. If she banishes him, you can kill him, and if he gets the Death Penalty, he's gone.”

            _“I hope he gets banished,”_ Kaihau muttered under his breath. _“I'm going to run him through with my blade. I'll rip out his beating heart and eat it in front of him.”_

Elvin's eyebrow shot up even higher with each threat. He leaned back slightly and waved a hand to get Lys' attention and then slipped off. Lys glanced at the murderous Boo king and sighed. He turned back to the Hider and sent it on its mission before padding over to stand by Kaihau. “Come on, love,” he said. “You can plan Mario's death later. Right now we're going to head back to the Treacherous Mansion and have a little fun, yes?”

            “ _Yes_ ,” Kaihau purred out, his emotions flipping like someone had hit a switch, and he teleported them to their home.

**oOo**

            They reappeared in a large bedroom and Kaihau sealed their lips together, swiftly divesting Lys of his clothing as he backed the brunet up to the bed. Once close enough, he pulled back and scooped Lys up and dumped him into the center of the bed before stepping back just enough so he could strip. Then Kaihau paused and looked his partner over.

            Lys laid in the center of the bed, his hair spread out around him like a halo of melted chocolate, and his blue eyes glowing with need. He was fully erect and a series of glowing marks wrapped around his left shoulder, covering that side of his neck. Kaihau lathered them with kisses, sucking on the skin until it was a dark shade of red. Lys whined deep in his throat and hooked his ankles around Kaihau's waist, dragging the spirit closer. “Remember when we first met?” he asked.

            “ _How could I forget?_ ” Kaihau responded and pressed their lips together again. “ _You enjoyed having me shove you against the nearest wall, didn't you?_ ”

            “Believe me, I did.” Lys laughed softly and pressed his lips to the Boo king's forehead. “Are we going to have sex or not?”

            “ _You're the one who started it,_ ” Kaihau whined out before dropping his head to attach his lips to a pale nipple. One hand came up to tug on the other nipple and the other slid down and began lazily stroking the others cock. Underneath him, Lys let out a low sigh of pleasure and purred deep in his throat. His hands come up and slide into Kaihau's white hair, tugging softly with each suck.

            Eventually the spirit pulled back and admired his handiwork. Lys' eyes were glazed and his red lips were swollen and shiny with spit. He was panting heavily and the brunet keened when Kaihau brought his pre-cum stained hand up to his mouth and began to lick it clean. “You are horrible,” Lys breathed out.

            “ _Patience, Lys. Patience._ ”

            Blue eyes narrowed. “If you tell me to have patience one more time, I will march my ass over to Meric and let him have his way with me.”

            Kaihau reared back and hissed in fury, his crown glowing brightly as his power surged. “ _Over my dead body!_ ” he snarled out.

            “Then get moving!” Lys snapped back.

            Kaihau glared at him and lunged forward to nip at the brunet's neck. One hand dropped over the side of the bed and pulled open the table drawer and slipped in. Empty. He snarled softly and snapped his fingers, calling a bottle of lubricant into existence. “ _Damn Toads,_ ” Kaihau muttered. “ _Always stealing our lubricant._ ”

            Lys laughed breathlessly and said, “Then find a better place to hide it, love, than the bedside table.”

            “ _Cheeky_ ,” Kaihau murmured back and nuzzled the junction between the brunet's ear and neck. He was rewarded with a sigh and he slicked up his fingers and pressed them against his partner's hole. They slid in easily and Lys arched with a sigh, his lips parting as a pink tongue flickered into view. Kaihau leaned forward and caught it with his own, sealing their mouths together in a deep kiss. They had enjoyed a romp last night and Lys was still loose, and it made stretching him easy.

            Kaihau sheathed himself inside of Lys with a low hiss, breath coming out sharply. The brunet arched, wrapping his legs around the king's waist. “Don't hold back,” he purred, blue eyes glowing with need and power.

            _“Never,”_ he murmured and began thrusting, his hips snapping forward in a sharp rhythm. Lys let out a noise of pleasure, green flames dancing along their skin. They tingled, heightening their pleasure with little bursts of heat. Kaihau came first, pressing in as deep as he could and filling his mate to the brim. “Mine. Now and forever.” Their hands tangled, matching rings marking their eternal bond.

            “Yours.”

**oOo**

          Elvin looked up as the couple finally entered the Bunker. He gave them a cheeky grin and asked, “Have fun?”

            Lys gave him the middle finger and threw a ball of lightning in his direction.

            The scientist ducked and laughed gleefully. “Your control over your elemental abilities is improving by leaps and bounds. First it was only fire, then it was lightning in the Secret Mine. What next, ice?”

            “Actually,” the brunet began with a smirk, “I can use ice. It just takes a while for me to properly freeze the water in the air. I'm getting better, but it's long, slow work. Lightning and fire were easier cause I've used them a lot more in past adventures. Iceflowers are a lot harder to get a hold of then Fireflowers.”

            Elvin rubbed his thin thoughtfully and said, “I wonder if I could get my hands on a few of them and run some experiments. The results will be interesting, I think.”

            Lys rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Elvin. Kaihau and I are heading out to the Beanbean Kingdom to cause a little trouble.”

            “And how will you do that?” the scientist asked curiously as he undid his ponytail and ran a hand through his gray hair. “Last I checked they think you're dead.”

            The brunet snorted. “I **am** dead, Elvin. Remember? And Kaihau taught me how to take a spiritual form and a Boo form. We're gonna have some fun at Mario's expense.”

            “Right,” Elvin said with a wince. “Have fun and don't get caught. I don't have very many cameras there, so pixelating you out will be pretty much impossible.” He glanced at the table nearby and sighed. “And I'm probably going to regret this, but take Peasley a bottle of wine for me, won't ya?”

            Kaihau gave him a disgusted look. “ _Your grammar is appalling. And yes, we will take the Bean king a bottle of wine. We'll also take one for ourselves while we're at it._ ”

            “You have no right to criticize me when your own grammar is just as shitty! And keep your filthy hands off my wine,” Elvin grumbled and ducked a ball of shadows with a yelp. “Not in my lab! If you break anything, it's on your head!” Kaihau sniffed daintily and shifted back to his spirit form.

            “ ** _Whatever you say, Elvin. Lys and I shall be back within a week or so. And thank you for the bottle of alcohol._** ”

            “Yeah yeah,” Elvin muttered petulantly. “Would you like some cheese to go with your whine?”

            Lys snorted loudly, both at the pun and the look that appeared on Kaihau's face, before shifting into his own Boo form. He was smaller than King Boo and his many scars were apparent. He still had his blue eyes and a pale red tongue to go with. “ ** _See you later, Elvin,_** ” he rumbled and it was lower, deeper. They faded out of view and the temperature of the Bunker increased by twenty degrees.

            Elvin shivered and cracked open a fresh bottle of brandy and eyed his rapidly diminishing stores. “Meric,” he called. “Remind me to order more alcohol. It seems to be disappearing far too quickly for my tastes.”

            “Well then,” the Toad called back, “perhaps you should stop drinking it so much.”

            “Ass.”

            “Always.”


	5. Metal Gear Ghostly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peasley, Lys, and Kaihau in a caffeine cafe. This will probably end in disaster.

Nita, complete with tongue stud, Kuroshitsuji phone case, Count D nails, and a shirt that says; "Cry a river, Build a bridge, Get over it."

~~Nita's my fan-wielding, vicious baby.~~

 

* * *

 

            “ ** _This,_** ” Lys began as he glided through a wall in the Beanbean Kingdom castle; “ ** _has to be one of your best ideas ever._** ”

            “ ** _Indeed,_** ” Kaihau returned.

Below him, Lys spotted a Bean guard and started cackling gleefully as he swooped into view. The guard reacted instantly, swinging his blade upward, and immediately panicking when it passed right through the spirit. “ ** _Flee, mortal!_** ” he shrieked, forming Spirit Balls and sending them flying down the corridor. They vanished doors seconds before people opened them, turned floors invisible, making them see through and generally made a mess. It was _fabulous._

            It was, however, stopped the moment Peach and Peasley hurried into the room to see what the noise was. Peach scowled. “Kaihau,” she said dangerously. “What is going on, and who is this?”

            The two Boos glanced at each other. “ ** _Shit_** ,” Kaihau muttered. “ ** _Busted_**.”

            Lys, however, grinned widely and stuck out his tongue. “ ** _Mortals,_** ” he cooed. “ ** _I am Frosty the Boo-man. Watch me freeze your soul solid with my icy tongue._** ”

            Kaihau, who had been in the middle of speaking to Peasley, overheard and promptly choked on his tongue before starting to laugh hysterically.

            “ ** _I thought you would like that,_** ” Lys called to him.

            Kaihau cackled and barely managed to get out, “ ** _I loved that._** ”

            “ ** _Sorry about that,_** ” Lys said to Peach and Peasley, “ ** _I'm Lys._** ”

            Peasley blinked. “There was a reference there that I didn't catch.”

            Kaihau snorted. “ ** _Inside joke._** ” He went back to laughing, rolling over in the air and flipping sideways. Somehow his crown didn't come off. Peach wanted to know how he did it.

            “What are you doing here anyway?” Peach asked.

            Lys and Kaihau glanced at each other. “ ** _Just here to terrorize the asshole. And maybe get some of the Beanbean Kingdom's coffee. This place has amazing coffee,_** ” Lys muttered. **_“_ _Kaihau, have you had any of the Beanbean Kingdom's coffee before?_ _”_**

            “ ** _No_** ,” he returned.

            “ ** _That's a shame. We'll have to get you some. It's great stuff. In any case, see you two later._** ” Lys floated upwards, twirled once, and vanished through the ceiling. Peasley blinked. Peach, on the other hand, looked like someone had smacked her. She stared at the place Lys had vanished through for a long time before speaking.

            “Can I speak to you for a second, Kaihau? Alone?”

            Kaihau glanced at her and then nodded, following close behind as she stepped into a small room and closed the door behind them. She turned to face him. “You lied,” she said.

            “ _I did not,_ ” he said as he took mortal form. Then Kaihau paused and asked, “ _About what?_ ”

            “Luigi's still alive. That was him, Lys, or whatever he's going by. I know that scar on his neck.”

            The Boo king slowly breathed in and then out. “ _That is him,_ ” he said at last. “ _But he did die. He was gone when I found him lying on the floor with a blade through his stomach. It took me a lot of power to call him back. Lys is a spirit now, much like myself. That reminds me.”_ He rummaged through a pocket and pulled out a large bottle of wine. _“Here. This is for you. Peasley gets one as well, but I can give it to him later.”_

            Peach's eyes widened. “Oh,” she breathed and covered her mouth with her hands. She gently took the bottle, mind still stuck on the fact that Luigi really was _dead_ and shoved the whole thing into her bodice. Kaihau's eyes widened and he made a noise in the back of his throat. _What the hell?_ he thought. _There isn't even a lump in her dress from the bottle._ He shook his head and focused on the task at hand.

            “ _Indeed. We've bonded and we're quite interested in adding Peasley to the mix. Main reason why we're here is to terrorize Mario. After I remove him from the painting, that is._ ” He gave Peach a stern look. “ _Don't say anything to Peasley. Lys is quite determined to seduce the man himself._ ”

            And with that, Kaihau shifted back to Boo form and vanished through the walls. Peach shook her head. _Do they not know that we've already removed Mario from the painting?_ Seconds later, Peasley skewered the lock with his blade, kicked it off, opened the door, and poked his head into the room. “So?” he asked. “Learn anything interesting?”

            She smiled serenely at him and said, “You'll never know,” before brushing past him and walking out of the room.

            “Aw, come on!” echoed from behind her and Peach's smile became wicked.

            “Nope!” she sang cheerfully as Peasley's footsteps sounded throughout the halls. “I'm not telling.~” Magic coursed through her veins and she tucked her feet up just enough to begin gliding down the halls on a slide made of wind.

            Peasley increased his pace until he was running full tilt in an effort to keep up with her. “Come on, Peach. You can tell me.” With all of his attention on keeping up, he didn't notice the throw rug in front of him. It skidded under his boots, flinging itself out and his feet went up into the air. “Shit!” Peasley yelped seconds before he hit the ground. “Ow,” he muttered and rubbed where his head had hit the floor.

            “Serves you right,” Peach said with a giggle as she daintily floated about a foot off of the ground. “A gentleman does _not_ pry into a lady's business.”

            The Bean king gave her a glare. “We both know that I am _not_ a gentleman.” He stumbled to his feet and grumbled under his breath. “Right. I need caffeine. I'm heading to the nearby Starbeans Cafe. See you later, Princess. In any case, I think Dreambert's looking for you. Something about the fabric your dress is made out of.”

            “All right, I'll go see what he wants. See you later, King Bean.” She laughed and glided down the hallway.

            “Someday I'll figure out how she can use the wind like that,” Peasley muttered as he watched her go. He sighed and leapt out the nearby window, catching a tree branch and swinging neatly down to the ground. A glance around showed that nobody was nearby. “Right,” the king cheered softly. “Caffeine!” He hurried out of the palace and down towards the best coffee shop around.

            Starbeans Cafe was busy when he entered and the king peered around. It made him happy to see people and he glided up to the counter. Javatar was behind it, cheerfully mixing drinks for those who asked. The menu above him was a baseline. A customer could order one of the seven blends up there, or they could get it doctored to their own personal taste. Peasley glanced over it.

            The Woohoo blend was common, the Woo beans plentiful and easy to find.

            The Hoohoo blend was just as common, though it was a little too bitter for most.

            The Chuckle blend was the opposite of the Hoohoo, with Chuckle beans naturally being super sweet.

            The Teehee blend was the rarest, the Hee beans super hard to find. It was also the best tasting out of all of the straight up coffees. Not to mention that the caffeine level was off the charts.

              He knew of three others that were possible and were also on the list. The Hoolumbian was a mixture of Hoo beans and Woo beans. The Chuckoccino was made from Woo beans and Chuckle Beans. And the Teeheespresso was a combination of Woo beans and Hee beans. The last one was his personal favorite as it had the highest caffeine content physically possible. Peasley grinned widely as he stepped up to the counter. “Hiya, Boss,” Javatar said with a smile. “Same as usual or something with less caffeine?”

            “Usual,” Peasley returned. “Right now I need it.”

            Javatar frowned. “Everyone's heard about Luigi and what Mario did. We're all stunned. A bit clumsy, but Greencap was a sweetheart. Often helped out here when he wasn't with Mario. Shame he's gone, Luigi always had the best ideas for drink combinations.” He turned around and began mixing up a Teeheespresso. “I miss having him around. Always seemed to make the place more cheerful.” A steaming drink was set on the counter and Javatar gave the king a weak smile. “Here.”

          Peasley smiled back, his own just as weak, and placed the correct amount of money on the counter. “Thanks,” he said and picked up the cup. Moving a couple of feet down the counter, he leaned against it and sipped slowly, letting his gaze drift over the newcomers hurrying into the shop. One of them was Kaihau, a pretty brunet by his side. They were soaking wet. The younger of the two was laughing. “Got a towel?” he called across the floor to Javatar who nodded. “It started to pour just as we were twenty feet from the cafe. Ended up running for it and still got soaked.” Kaihau gathered his white hair and squeezed, creating a puddle that he evaporated with a snap of his fingers.

            “Kaihau,” the other whined, “dry my hair too, please?”

            Kaihau gave him a look. “ _You control fire, Lys, dry it yourself._ ”

            Lys scowled. “That is not the principle of the matter, Kaihau. Consider yourself couched.” He stomped forward and leaned over the counter, water running down his face, to take the towel from Javatar. He glanced at the menu as he was drying his hair. “Let’s see. It's been a few years since I was last here, so.....if I remember this right....and I always do, I'll take an extra strong Hoolumbian. ”

            Javatar blinked. Usually only the Beanbean citizens could handle anything mixed. And ordering extra strong, to boot. Either he could handle it, or he didn't know what he was getting into. Javatar kind of hoped that it was the former. Instead of thinking of a possible disaster, he nodded and asked, “And the other male?”

            Lys hummed. “Coffee isn't Kaihau's forte. That's my area. He'll have a Chuckoccino as anything made from Hoo beans will be too bitter. If it's too caffeinated, he'll be bouncing off the walls for hours and I'd rather not deal with that.”

            Javatar nodded. “Coming right up.” He spun around and began making the Hoolumbian, hoping that it wasn't going to be a mistake.

            Peasley leaned over and hissed, “Don't make it extra strong. He's not a Bean. He won't be able to handle it.”

            The cafe owner shook his head. “I'm not going to give him what he didn't order. Sorry, Boss, but it ain't gonna happen.” He finished filling the cup with the bright pink liquid and switched over to create the Chuckoccino. Soon it too was done, and he slid both cups onto the counter and called, “Order up,” and hoped he wasn't making a mistake. Peasley glared at him.

            Lys cheerfully pressed the Chuckoccino into Kaihau's hands and then took a sip of the Hoolumbian. He sighed happily. “Oh, that's good. Exactly as I remembered.”

            Kaihau carefully tasted the Chuckoccino and smiled. “ _It is._ ” He glanced at Javatar and said, “ _Thank you. This is wonderful._ ” Then the white haired male paused and set his own cup down before swiping Lys'. He took a sip and made a face. “ _Ugh. That's awfully bitter._ ” He covered it up by grabbing his own cup and drinking deeply. “ _Super strong, too._ ”

            Lys smirked. “The dangers of drinking my coffee, Kaihau. I know it well. I drink enough caffeine to give a Bean heartburn.” He eyed the menu and sighed. “If I had a couple Hee beans on me, I'd get a Teeheespresso, but I don't want to hear your bitching.”

            Kaihau scowled. “ _You said it yourself, Lys. The amount of caffeine you drink could give a Bean a heart attack. I'm honestly surprised you can still sleep at the end of the day._ ”

            “Practice, my dear Kaihau, practice.”

            “ _Too much practice, you mean._ ”

            “Exactly.” Lys snorted, drained the rest of his mug and practically skipped over to the counter. He set the mug down and cheerfully ordered a second round.

            Seconds later, Kaihau joined him. “ _No more than three mugs of Hoolumbian. You'll get jittery otherwise._ ”

            Lys gave him a huge set of puppy eyes and pouted. It was adorable. “But,” he whispered. “It's Starbeans Cafe coffee....” Huge tears welled up in his eyes.

            Kaihau, however, was not moved. “I said n _o._ ”

            “Fine.” He turned to Javatar. “Make my third cup of Hoolumbian a round of Teeheespresso.”

            “ _......I just lost this argument, didn't I.”_ It wasn't a question.

            Lys smirked at him. “Teeheespresso has the same amount of caffeine as four cups of Hoolumbian, so I'm going to go with yes.”

            “ _Dammit,_ ” Kaihau groaned.

            “Don't worry,” the brunet said with a grin. “I plan on messing with Elvin.” His grin widened. “It's going to be amazing.”

            “ _Just,_ ” Kaihau began as his mind conjured up everything that could happen; “ _don't blow anything up this time. Please._ ”


	6. The Golden Scrolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Busted.

Don't huff at me, Denzel. You and your "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." shirt.

~~He'll kill you with a bomb if you bother him enough.~~

 

* * *

            Peasley joined them at the counter and laughed softly, watching as Lys and Kaihau shared their weird mix of Chuckoccino and Hoolumbian coffee. They were currently bickering over whether or not they should spike it with brandy. So far, no brandy was winning out.

            “Flush!” Lys called out cheerfully as he slapped his cards down.

            Kaihau groaned. “ _Dammit._ ” He threw his cards at the other and groaned. _“I swear you're cheating,”_ he muttered.

            The brunet grinned widely and marked a line under 'Brandy'. The score was eight to eight. First one to ten won. He was determined to win.

            “You two are cute together. I wonder what sort of things await you during your long life alive,” Peasley mused thoughtfully.

            Lys' facial expression sort of froze and the cards fell from his hand as Kaihau breathed in sharply. The brunet swallowed, licked his lips, and then sighed. “Dear King Peasley,” he began and those words sounded _wrong._ Why did they sound wrong? “You're right about only one of those things. Kaihau and I are together, but alive?” He laughed bitterly. “My dear Peasley,” he murmured, eyes focusing on everything and nothing at the same time. “My dear Peasley, I'm long since dead.”

            All movement in the Cafe stopped.

            Peasley jerked, his mug falling to the floor with a crash. Normally Javatar would have yelled, but the Bean was staring at Lys with wide eyes. “I.....what?” the Bean king whispered.

            Lys gave him an empty smile. “I was murdered in cold blood almost four years ago. I'm a spirit and so is Kaihau.”

            “I,” Peasley stumbled over his words and then he _realized_. “The Boo in the Palace who was releasing all of the blue balls.”

            And then Lys was gone, the Boo in his place. “ ** _Yes. They are called Spirit Balls. They create illusions._** ” The next second he was back, but mostly see through, his form shimmering. The second after that, he was solid and slowly drinking from his second cup of Hoolumbian. “Hey, Javatar,” he said and jerked the coffee god out of his stupor.

            “Yes?” Javatar returned.

            “Can you mix my Teeheespresso with a shot or three of brandy? I'm going to need it.”

            “Sure,” the Bean said and set about making it.

            Lys stared up at the ceiling. “For a few months after waking up, I was okay. I thought I was healed. I thought I had survived the attack on my person. I went around, perfectly fine and showing nothing except a scar across my chest and stomach.”

            “But you didn't,” Peasley murmured.

            “No. I started noticing things early on, but I willingly ignored them.” Lys sighed and leaned back against the chair.

            Peasley shook his head and pushed blond hair out of his face. “Until you couldn't.”

            The brunet chuckled ruefully. “It's kind of hard to ignore walking through a wall and floating in mid-air, twenty-ish feet above the ground. The moment I realized what I had done, everything just kinda overloaded. I broke, destroying a good chunk of our mansion in the process. For almost a year after that, I hated everyone and destroyed as much as I could. Not even Elvin and Kaihau were exempt from my wrath. I hated myself and tried to end it several times.” He sighed and looked away. “It took Kaihau proposing to me to get me to step away from the edge of the roof. We were married a few weeks later and I never tried anything again. Since then I've just learned to accept the fact that I'm gone. Now all I want is revenge on my killer.”

            Peasley nervously licked his lips. “I apologize. I didn't mean to....”

            “No,” Lys said softly. “I feel better talking about it.”

            Javatar suddenly jerked and let out a yelp. The money that he was holding was glowing softly, a series of fingerprints ringing the metal. “What the hell?”

            “Ah,” the brunet laughed. “The money is fine. It just means that I touched it in spirit form. See?” He shifted, fading to mostly transparent and began leaving glowing hand prints around the cafe, freaking out all the newcomers. _“_ _They'll fade after a while. Maybe. Also, our bodies leech the heat out of the air around us, so it's why it's really cold near a spirit.”_ Lys cheerfully stuck a hand through Peasley and the Bean king _shrieked_ loud enough to get raised eyebrows from Javatar _._

“Holy shit that's cold!” he yelped as he threw himself away from the counter. “That goes far past cold hands and well into ice water territory.”

            Javatar snorted. “I never knew you could hit _that_ pitch, Boss. Is there something you want to tell us?”

            Peasley flushed blue and hissed at the Cafe owner. “You're horrible,” he spat. “And no, there is _nothing_ that I want to tell you. I am mALEEE! DAMMIT! FUCKING HELL! STOP THAT!” He jerked away from the spirit, revealing that Lys had touched him again. Peasley pressed himself against the counter and hissed at them, the touched skin turning blue from the cold. Javatar pressed a steaming cup of tea into the king's hands and watched in glee as the blond shivered.

            Kaihau snorted. “ _I find it hilarious that Lys is so cold, especially since he controls fire._ ”

            “Fire?” the Bean king asked.

            Lys grinned widely, returned to solid form, and let a fireball ripple to life in his hands. “Yup. I can control fire, lightning, and ice. Ice is a new one. It's a bitch to work with, especially since I can't control water, so I'm having to figure it out the hard way. It's a lot of work, but definitely worth it to see someone's face when I freeze their feet.”

            Peasley snorted. “I know someone who can control air like it's nothing. She just glides down the hallway and it's all I can do to keep up.”

            “ _You mean like what Lys does with his lightning? He stimulates his muscles enough and runs down the hallway at three times the normal human speed. We've had to pad the walls to keep him from hurting himself when he crashes into them._ ”

            Lys looked scandalized. “You horrible person! You _padded_ my brakes?!”

            Kaihau sighed. “ _Your brakes?_ ” he asked and then paused when he saw his husband open his mouth. “ _No, wait. I don't want to know._ ”

            “They stop me, so they're my brake walls.”

            The white haired spirit dropped his head into his hand. “ _That's what I was afraid of._ ”

            Lys grinned at him. “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” He then smiled, his eyes softening in such a way that was so recognizable and Peasley was struck by how _familiar_ it was. He frowned, his mind already putting the pieces together. His eyes widened and he stared at the two men. “Lys,” he whispered, just barely loud enough to be heard. “Luigi.”

 


	7. Pocket Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun with spirit forms, and Peasley can hit extremely high pitches.

My lovely Princess Peach. She has a fantastic figure, the one I always wished I had. ~~It would be nice to wear dresses without having them fall off of my nonexistent boobs.~~

In any case, she's here with her Animal Crossing phone and pink shirt that says, "Don't get mad, get new shoes."

 

* * *

 

            Lys winced and glanced around. “Hi?” he weakly asked. Behind him he could hear Kaihau snickering softly. The brunet grimaced and resolved to stomp on the other male's foot as soon as physically possible. As hard as he could, too. And while he was at it, maybe Peach had a pair of heels he could borrow. Surely she had a pair in his size.

            Peasley made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and promptly fainted dead away. Lys lunged forward, somehow managing to catch him before his head hit the ground. Behind the counter, Javatar, who had been pouring another customer's order, barely managed to keep himself from overflowing the mug. Pink liquid sloshed in the cup, splashing up against the sides but not going over. “Luigi?” he whispered, eyes so wide that they were practically taking over his face.

            “Uh-oh,” the brunet muttered before sheepishly rubbing at the back of his head and smiling weakly. “Hey, Javatar.”

            “Holy shit,” the Bean said breathlessly. “It really is you. Here for Mario then?”

            Lys' eyes darkened and his whole face morphed into a vicious scowl. “I'm going make the rest of his life a living hell. First thing I'm gonna do is castrate the bastard. After that?” He shrugged. “Beats me, but it's probably going to be really painful. It's the least the bastard deserves.”

            Javatar winced, shifting his weight enough to press his thighs together. It didn't matter if he disliked Mario immensely, sympathy pain still flared. It didn't linger though.“You're a little late for that one. Peasley did that the moment they got Mario out of the painting.”

            Kaihau visibly brightened. “ _Really? I knew there was a reason why I liked him. Was it messy? Loud? Painful? Agonizing? Ooh, I hope it was agonizing._ ”

            “I wouldn't know.” Javatar paused, glanced around, and then grinned wickedly. “He screamed like a stuck pig though. _Everyone_ heard it.”

            “ _Very nice,_ ” Kaihau said as he nodded his head approvingly. “ _The more I hear of Peasley, the more I like him._ ” Then turning to Lys, he added, “ _He will make a wonderful third, I think._ ”

            Lys nodded rapidly. “I know.” He glanced down at the unconscious Bean and smiled softly. “We'll ask him when he wakes up. Now, about that extra strong Teeheespresso with a shot of brandy?”

            Javatar slid it across the counter without saying a word and the brunet took a large sip. “Well?” he asked. “What do you think?”

            “I'll let you know as soon as my teeth stop chattering.”

            Kaihau snorted. “ _I feel like I'm going to regret letting you have that._ ”

            Javatar snorted loudly. “You most likely will.”

            They talked softly for a long time, catching Javatar up on what had happened over the past few years. Eventually there was a groan from the floor as Peasley finally returned to consciousness. He shook his head and slowly sat up, gaze shifting from the floor to the wall and then finally to Lys. Green skin blanched to a sickly shade and he swayed dangerously, but didn't faint again. Lys waved cheerfully and shimmered, his body becoming translucent. Peasley's eyes widened, all the memories rushing back in that moment. He made a noise in the back of his throat and leaned against the counter for support, reaching a hand out in a silent request for help.

            Kaihau snorted and took it, pulling the Bean king to his feet. “You all right there?”

            “I'll let you know in a moment when my heart stops trying to rip a hole in my chest,” Peasley said, voice surprisingly steady.

            “I heard you castrated the asshole. Nice job on that.”

            Lys pouted and said, “I wanted to do that,” seconds before Peasley responded with, “Thank you. It was my pleasure.” They glanced at each other and snorted softly, breaking out into laughter seconds later.

            “Seriously, though. It's nice to be back here,” the brunet said. “I really like the Beanbean kingdom. Not as much as Evershade Valley, but then again. I'm a spirit, so it's kinda to be expected. It really is nice to see you again, Peaz. Sorry about the whole fake grave thing in the Haunted Towers.”

            The king rose a single, blond brow and asked, “Peaz?” as he mentally tucked away the tidbit of information. He could ask about that later on.

            “Short nickname because I'm lazy.”

            “My name is literally two syllables.”

            Lys shrugged. “My birth name is three syllables, but I still go by Lys. Oh yeah, Elvin wanted us to give this to you.”

            Peasley eyed him carefully. “Should I be worried?”

            The brunet shook his head. “Nah. Not really. We wouldn't give you anything harmful. I do like the Beanbean kingdom and would rather not be banned. Kaihau?”

            _“Here.”_ Kaihau snapped his fingers and a large bottle of wine materialized in a burst of red and black diamonds. He caught the neck of the bottle and passed it over to the Bean king. “Some fine wine for your collection. A congratulations gift on taking over the throne and taking care of the asshole.”

            Peasley rose a single brow. “Any reason why you don't use his name?”

            “He doesn't deserve it,” the Boo king responded immediately, no hesitation to be seen. Pale lips quirked up, revealing sharp teeth. Peasley eyed them warily and then decided that they were of no issue.

            “I'll say,” Lys muttered. “Now then, Peasley, I do believe we owe you a congratulations gift for becoming king.”

            The king froze. “And that would be?” he asked cautiously.

            Lys smiled, sweet and innocent. Somehow it didn't reassure the Bean, instead making him even more worried and paranoid. He sashayed over to the blond, hips swaying, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, smile widening until it was all teeth. Then he leaned forward and sealed their lips together.

            Javatar let out a low whistle and Kaihau hummed approvingly. _“Very nice,”_ he said. Then turning to the coffee Bean, he added, _“I knew those two would look good together.”_

            “Gonna join in?” Javatar asked, a hint of mischief in his voice.

            Kaihau smirked. _“Now there's a wonderful idea.”_ He stalked forward and pressed himself against Peasley's back and began nuzzling the pale green neck. “Your people have such interesting skin tones,” he purred and began lavishing it with kisses, determined to make sure that the other was marked. Lys pulled back from the kiss and grinned cheerfully when he saw how dazed the king was. Peasley's eyes were glazed, the pupils blow wide with a mixture of surprise and lust, and his normally lime colored cheeks had darkened to a shade of evergreen. The Bean king was also gasping slightly, his breath heavy and deep in his chest. Glancing over the king's shoulder to look at Kaihau, Lys noticed the catcalls coming from the other customers in the cafe and reddened slightly, cheeks flushing in a mixture of arousal and embarrassment.

            His gaze flickered to meet amused, violet eyes. “Should we take him to the Bean Palace or back to the Treacherous Mansion?”

            Kaihau, understanding immediately what Lys was planning, smirked. “The Bean Palace is closer,” he said with a sly grin.

            Lys laughed gleefully and yanked Peasley into another searing kiss. Again the catcalls sounded, but the brunet ignored them in favor of concentrating. He wasn't going to mess _this_ up. Fire roared up around them, swirling high into the air and when it cleared, they were gone. Nothing left behind, it was like they hadn't been there in the first place.

            On the counter top next to Javatar's wrist, a small pile of coins glinted merrily as they glowed a soft, pale blue. He scooped them up with a laugh and turned to serve the next customers. “Pocket Dragons, indeed,” he murmured. “Make sure they don't bite. Wouldn't want to lose anything important.”


	8. Double Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex and a little cuddling. What's not to like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for this being late -and with no picture, too- but I was entertaining guests all of yesterday and therefore unable to update.

            Peasley was the only one who hadn't noticed that their surroundings had changed, his attention completely focused on Lys. Kaihau pulled away, moving back as he watched Lys carefully walk the blond towards the large bed. The Bean king was shoved upon it and then the brunet spirit straddled his lap, greedily pulling him into another searing kiss. Kaihau found himself a chair to sit in and leaned back languidly as he watched Lys strip Peasley without even breaking the kiss. He hummed appreciatively under his breath, hips shifting slightly as his body awoke, and Kaihau watched with glee as Lys wiggled his hips at him. A clear invitation to join.

            He stood up and stalked over to the bed, hands already coming to to yank down the brunet's pants and expose his bare ass. “Peasley,” Kaihau rumbled softly, lips parting as he bent down to lick a long stripe up his husband's back.

            Peasley blinked at him through hazy eyes, barely managing to say, “Yes?” before Lys caught him in another passionate kiss.

            “Where the hell's the lubricant?”

            “Side table,” the Bean king managed, diving back down to seal their lips together. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Kaihau padding over to the drawer and pulling it open, long, slender fingers pulling out the bottle and popping it open. Lys whined in the back of his throat when the slick liquid was spilled over his hips, clear fluid running down his inner thighs, coating them and making the flesh glisten in the light. Kaihau huffed out a laugh and scooped a good amount up on his fingers, rubbing the tight ring of muscles and working on spreading it gently. His frisky husband wriggled his hips at him again, whining when the Boo king didn't increase his pace and gasping when a pale hand came down with a sharp crack. Slipping three fingers inside of the tight muscles, he spread them wide and then pulled them out, quickly replacing the digits with his cock. Lys arched with a muffled cry of pleasure, Peasley's mouth swallowing all the noises he made. Slender arms came up to wrap around the Bean king's neck as the young spirit steadied himself and Peasley found himself being pressed flat against the sheets, Lys straddling him completely.

            Each thrust that Kaihau gave made the brunet practically collapse against him, hips jerking violently. Their cocks were rubbing against each other, slick pre-cum making the friction wonderful. The Boo king's fingers practically bruised Lys' hips and all knew that there would be bruises there in the morning. Peasley twisted his fingers into brown hair, tugging it out of its messy tail and tangling his fingers into the long strands. He had the shortest hair out of all of them now, his blond locks only falling to his shoulders.

            They moved together in symphony, hips grinding together and soft noises escaping from kiss swollen lips. Lys came first, his hips jerking as all of the pleasure finally became too much. Kaihau let out a growl as the tight channel around his cock suddenly clenched and he rocked forward, spilling deep into his mate. Peasley let out a low gasp, his head dropping back and Lys lapped at his neck, sucking hard enough on the skin to leave an enormous hickey behind. They collapsed there in a sweaty, content pile, just relaxing in each other's company as their breathing slowed. “You,” Lys murmured as he nuzzled against the Bean king; “are ours. I'm not letting you go again.”

            “And I'm not losing you again,” Peasley returned sleepily. “Once was bad enough.”

            Kaihau snorted softly. “I do believe I would like to get to know you better, oh Bean king. You should join us in our realm.”

            “But....what about my kingdom? I can't just leave them...”

            Lys raised his head and blinked sluggishly at the blond. “Can't your mother take over the throne again?” he asked.

            There was silence on Peasley's part for a long time. “I suppose so,” he allowed. That was definitely a viable idea, and one that he hadn't thought of before. It would certainly make things a lot easier on them. And it wasn't like Kaihau could leave _his_ kingdom; no, that was _asking_ for issues. But Peasley, oh, Peasley was the one who had the most flexibility. His mother could easily take over the throne again. It wasn't like she hadn't been keeping up with the politics and she was in perfect health. “That sounds perfect,” he murmured sleepily and tugged Lys closer. “I'll talk to her about it in the morning.” He closed his eyes and drifted off, comforted by the feeling of Lys and Kaihau  curling up closer to his form.

**oOo**

            Morning came with several sounds. First came the sun, streaming in through the large, glass windows and lighting the room in beautiful hues of red and orange. Then came the birds, chirping cheerfully as they welcomed the new day and fluttered among the trees.

            After that came the fireballs, chasing the squeaky fuckers away as their wilder cursed the fiery ball of pain that hovered high above the clouds to the deepest pits of Hell. Lys scowled at the birds as they chirped loudly and fled into the sky. Kaihau opened one sleepy eye and sighed, draping his arm over the brunet's shoulder. “Ignore them,” he murmured softly; “and go back to sleep.”

            Peasley let out a soft groan. “I was napping,” he complained weakly. “I hate the sun.”

           Kaihau's lips twitched up. “Evershade Valley doesn't have a lot of sun in the Treacherous Mansion. If anything, it's usually surrounded by a mahogany sky.”

            “Yeah,” Lys agreed. “It's beautiful there. You'd most likely like it Peasley.”

            “You forget that I've been there once already.”

            “And?” Kaihau asked, a single, white brow meeting his hairline. “You saw what we wanted you to see. A decrepit, ancient mansion that was barely standing.”

            “And not the beautiful place Kaihau and I call home,” Lys added with a huffing laugh.

            Peasley hummed. “I suppose I can give it a try,” he said.

            “That's my Bean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As such, I will be handing out a smidgen of a tidbit for the final part in the Series of I; Immortal. There will be no set updating schedule for Immortal. I will be writing depression, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, transitioning, self-hatred, delusions, and a whole host of other things, and I want to make sure that I get them right. 
> 
> I'm sorry Lys, but you really have it bad in Immortal. It's a long, rough road to healing, and you're going to need all of the help you can get.


	9. Wall to Wall Courtroom Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial. The judgement. The beginning of the end and the end of the beginning.
> 
> This isn't over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to go ahead and apologize for my two week disappearance. I lost my flashdrive and only just found it; right where I had left it. -_-;

            The banging of a gravel echoed around the court room. “Now commencing the trial of Mr. Mario,” the judge said. Peach nervously licked her lips and watched as her husband was dragged up to the stand. He snarled violently, struggling to pull away. “What is the meaning of this? Unhand me!”

            “Do you mean to tell me that you don't know?” the judge asked.

            Mario glared mutinously at the judge. “If I did know,” he hissed; “I certainly wouldn't be asking.”

              “You, sir, are on trial for murder.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “The death of your younger brother, Luigi.”

            “You think I killed him?”

            “We don't _think_ you killed him. We _know_ you killed him. This is not a trial, though it is called that, this is your execution.”

            Mario's face purpled. “You'll never kill me,” he spat. “I saved your goddamn kingdom from Fawful and Cackletta.”

            “That is true,” the judge said.

            “They may not kill you, but I will.” Heads snapped up and Mario blanched as King Boo himself slipped through the wall. A puff of smoke concealed his form and then Kaihau landed on the ground, silent as a ghost.

            “Proof,” Mario said, grasping at straws now. “Where's your proof?”

            “Here.” A second Boo slid through the wall and floated in the air.

            “And how the fuck are you proof?”

            A second puff of smoke and then Lys landed on the ground. Mario went sheet white as the courtroom became dead silent. “Hello, brother.” He leaned up against Kaihau  and the Boo king wrapped an arm around the brunet's waist.

            “You all right?” he murmured.

            Lys' face hardened. “I will be once he's dead.”

            “Or not,” Kaihau returned with a sly smile. He sauntered over to the judge and began to whisper to the female Bean in a low voice. When he came back over, his smile was all teeth.

            The judge banged her gravel. “It has been decided. Mario shall not die, but instead will be handed over to the Boo king.” She eyed the white haired spirit. “If I may ask, what are you planning?”

            “My men _always_ need target practice. A man terrified of spirits is ideal for this sort of thing.”

            “Oh,” Lys said as his eyes practically lit up.

            “And if my men 'accidentally' chase him off of a bridge, well...” Kaihau trailed off and shrugged, somehow managing to look completely innocent.

            Lys giggled and flicked his fingers. Glowing spirit balls materialized and whirled around Mario and vanished into thin air, taking the elder of the two brothers with them.

            Kaihau eyed his husband carefully. “Now,” he said; “where did you leave him?”

            “Somewhere in the Secret Mines. I've already given everyone there instructions to drive him nuts, but not kill him. They cannot strike the final blow, but they can drive him mad.” He grinned and vanished in a puff of smoke. Kaihau snickered and saluted the judge as he strode out of the room. He had a king to abscond with.

**oOo**

“Wow,” Peasley said the moment he saw the outside of Gloomy Manor. They'd fixed the place up; spending a good chunk of time replacing glass and sealing up gaps, and now the place was quite cozy. A large fire roared in the fireplace and the Bean settled down in front of it, purring contentedly from the warmth. “This is so nice.”

            “Indeed,” Kaihau murmured softly. He sank down onto a large pillow and pulled the blond close. “Tea?”

            “Hmm?” Peasley glanced up and froze, his eyes widening at the sight of a Hider bringing them a tea tray. The spirit set it down nearby Kaihau and then vanished through the ceiling. Kaihau reached out and picked up the teapot, calmly pouring out a large cup for himself.

            “Tea?” he asked again.

            Peasley stared at him silently for a long time before sighing. “Sure,” he said and accepted a cup. He cautiously sipped at it, relaxing when the soothing scent of chamomile drifted up to his nose. “This is good.”

            “Ooh, is that tea?” Lys asked as they glided through the floor. “Cause if it is, I'll definitely take a cup.”

            “You know, I'm kind of curious to know how you do that.”

            “Do what?”

            “Slide through the walls and floors in some places and physically walk on them in others.”

            Lys laughed cheerfully. “Well, my dear King Peasley,” he began; “as spirits, we have full control over ourselves. Basically, when we slide through a floor or a wall, we've made the particles in our body perfectly match those of the wall, allowing us to enter it with ease. It's the same with the floor. When we don't want to go through it, we don't match, therefore making it impossible for our bodies to accidentally slip through. It's really quite a bit of I believe and therefore I can do, but otherwise it's super simple.”

            The Bean stared at Lys like he'd just given away the secret to life, the universe, and everything. “If you say so,” he said weakly.

            “Ah,” Kaihau said. “Finally someone who speaks English.”

            “Is that what just happened?”

            Lys rolled his eyes. “It's all right if you don't understand, Peasley. You won't have to for a long time.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I happen to like your warm skin. We won't be making you into a spirit for many years, okay?”

            “Oh,” he said and pressed closer to Kaihau , watching as the brunet curled up on his right. “Okay.”

            All was well. The fire burned brightly in the fireplace, the snow drifted down in large flakes, and somewhere in the Secret Mine, a scream rang through the air.

_This,_ it cried, _is not the end._


End file.
